April 6, 2009

Mom Would Have Appreciated This Story

We've all been to the OB/GYN, right? We all had some type of anxiety about going as well, correct? Well, I'm no different. I dislike going to this "annual" event. From the time I book the appointment a month in advance until I pay my co-pay and walk out the office, I completely DREAD the experience.

Today was the "appointment". I've been fairly healthy this past year. Nothing out of the ordinary to report. No major ailings or failings, other than my eyesight. I'm thinking all morning long about the routine blood work, urinalysis, medication reconciliation, blood pressure, weight changes, lifestye issues, and the "examne" itself.

I'm running through all my pains, twinges, aches, reasons for not taking my meds as prescribed from the following year, etc. Not really paying attention to tasks at hand.The nurse takes my blood pressure...a little high, but it always is "a little high". I stand on the medieval apparatus that tortures millions of women on a daily basis. The scales. Okay, not too bad. I've gained 2 pounds in 365 days. Yep....2 pounds. I let my guard down. I'm actually feeling that this appointment is going okay this year.

Now, it's time for the urine sample. Not my fav, but fairly easy to get through. I'm more relaxed, gained only 2 pounds. BP is high, but within normal limits. I'm cruising through this "appointment". I go to the restroom for the urine sample. I see the regular clear plastic Dixie cups that they have this year. I'm thinking that I'm not too fond of this cup. What happened to the more medical-looking-frosted-plastic-cup with the green lid and label? All there was today was clear plastic Dixie and a sharpie to write your name on the side. Felt more like I was labeling my drink at a party. Keepin' it real, remember?

So, I go through the process (I'll leave the details out because we women all know about "the process" of collecting the urine sample). Anyway, right by the toilet is the trashcan. The shelf for the sample is by the door. The shelf is too far to set the sample down to tidy up.I'm thinking, "Awesome, I've gained only 2 pounds!" Not paying any attention, I set the carefully collected urine sample on the trashcan lid. And, plop! There it goes...in the trashcan.

I'm tellin' ya. THAT put a damper on this "annual" appointment. And, true to most of my mishaps, everyone else thought it was a riot!

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